by Rose Madeline Mula

No, I will not tell you my Social Security number or my banking ID, but almost anything else you want to know about me is yours simply for the asking.

Not so with most of my friends.  They guard their privacy ferociously.  They will never divulge their weight … the fact that they might occasionally enjoy watching a mindless sitcom versus the latest history channel offering … the shameful revelation that if it weren’t for the price tag they couldn’t tell the difference between fine wine and an $8 bottle of pinot noir … the unforgivable sin of relying on Lean Cuisine frozen foods way more often than cooking from scratch — all offenses to which I freely admit guilt.  

Also, many people I know are so protective of their privacy they even shred those ubiquitous return address labels that inundate our mailboxes before trashing them. They fear an unscrupulous someone could get hold of them  — and do what exactly??? 

Above all, almost all my friends would submit to waterboarding before revealing their age, blissfully unaware that these days that statistic is available to anyone who makes a simple Google query or two.  They don’t realize that the mere fact that they don’t know that identifies them as ancient and that exactly how ancient is no longer a secret. They believe they can guard that number to the bitter end — and beyond.  No exaggeration.  One woman I knew made her son vow not to put her date of birth on her headstone when she died.  

Another friend, whom I’ll call Ann Onymus, has become absolutely paranoid about the far-reaching tentacles of technology strangling any shred of privacy that used to exist.  She had a very brief relationship with Alexa which ended violently when Ann became convinced that Alexa had invaded her home and was present and listening at all times — not just when summoned by name. Since Ann, a widow, lives alone and doesn’t talk to herself, I wouldn’t think that there would be much, if anything, going on for Alexa to overhear. But maybe Ann isn’t the proper, upright woman I believed her to be.  Maybe she is conducting a secret illicit affair. Maybe even more than one. 

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