But I digress. Back to exercise. Walking? Yes, I remember walking. I used to do that before I learned to drive. As for jogging, please! Don’t be ridiculous. Some say swimming is excellent exercise, but when I was young girls always wore ugly, scalp-hugging bathing caps to swim in a futile attempt to keep their hair dry. Me in in a bathing cap — disaster. I looked like a bald man. And not Yul Brynner’s charismatic King of Siam. And after removing the cap I looked worse.
Unlike the long, sleek tresses of my girl friends which emerged from bathing caps looking even sleeker, my cork screw curls erupted into a frizzier and wilder mess than usual. Consequently, I never wanted to wear a bathing cap, so I never learned to swim. Since helmets had a similar effect on my hair, I used the same reasoning to rationalize never learning to ski, skate, sky dive, or even ride a bicycle — all activities which are at the top of my post-bucket list for my next life since I don’t expect to have a hair problem then because I have my order in for long, straight hair for that journey, risking the possibility that short and frizzy will be “in” at that point.
At any rate, I’m still puzzling why I’m still here. I feel like that carton of milk at the back of the top shelf of my fridge that I’m sure is beyond its expiration date.
But I am trying to stay positive and count my blessings. The biggest one by far is that I no longer have to worry about dying young.
©2021 Rose Madeline Mula for SeniorWomen.com
Editor's Note: Rose Mula's most recent book is Confessions of a Domestically-Challenged Homemaker & Other Tall Tales, available at Amazon.com and other online booksellers. Grandmother Goose: Rhymes for a Second Childhood is available as an e-book on Amazon.com for the Kindle and at BarnesandNoble.com for the Nook at $2.99; the paperback edition is available for $9.95.
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