I set off on my journey with hope, although experience had shown hope to be an unreasonable emotion. I searched the major department stores first, but could not find what I wanted. Then I tried some of the discount stores, the ones not on the lowest retail rung. I found a veritable jungle of cats, teddy bears, dogs, and even lions inhabiting all the nightwear. I began to wonder who had started that trend and where I could find the culprit. For a moment, I considered starting a protest movement since change is our friend, but I suspected I would be the only one to join the cause. And, who knows, maybe there is a pajama animals union? I am in favour of unions and do not wish to make trouble.
After visiting several stores, I was tired and weak-willed. I almost fell for a pair of alluring grey silk pajamas that called out to me from a lighted shop window. But, they had a company logo on the breast pocket (I am opposed to logos as a matter of principle) and they were too slick, too cool. They would highlight all my lumpy parts, my more-ness. I turned away from them and plodded on.
There was only one store left to visit — a place where piles of whatnots could tumble down on my head at any moment. There, jammed in amidst the bell-bottomed jeans and extra-large sweatshirts with outdated slogans on them, lurked a pair of forest green plaid pajamas. I couldn’t see them properly so I tried not to be too optimistic, but my heart thumped. After I had scraped my fingers on several metal hangers and removed a few sweatshirts, I had them in my hands. I looked at the tag. They were the right size and one-hundred percent cotton flannelette. I could hardly believe it. Naturally, they were the only pair in the place and I hurried to pay for them so I could go home and rejoice.
But my celebration was woefully short. When I got home and opened my mail, I found a gift certificate to an adult lingerie store from my very dear friend. I suspect I cannot use it to buy more flannelette pajamas. The job ahead won’t be an easy one — not for me anyway. A lot of sexy intimate apparel is either fiery red or inky blue-black and those colours don’t flatter me. In my experience, such garments need to be hand-washed before wearing in order to soften the fabric, lest it prickle my skin and leave those marks I detest. But washing them is fraught with hazards too. The colours can run, the stitching can and probably will pucker, if you look at it sideways. And, although the tag might say one-hundred percent polyester, the darn things can shrink.
I know these things because they have all happened. The evidence is buried in my closet. Then there’s the size issue. I’m not quite Rubenesque (come back from the ether Rubens, we need you to praise us) but the thought of wearing see-it-all lingerie has me picturing a television reporter saying “writer caught in clothing disaster, film at eleven.” Still, I cannot deny my very dear friend the pleasure of viewing me through something scandalously sheer which he will likely remove within two minutes.
A new adventure awaits.
©2009, 2021 Diane Girard for SeniorWomenWeb
Pages: 1 · 2
More Articles
- New York's Jewish Museum: Photography and the American Magazine; When Avant-garde Techniques in Photography and Design Reached the United States via European Emigrés
- Jane's Shortall's Amazing Return to London ... ‘Putting the Luxe in Luxury’
- James Tissot: Fashion & Faith: “A painting by Mr. Tissot will be enough for the archeologists of the future to reconstruct our era.”
- What Were We Thinking? Mink Stoles, Kid Leather Hats, Frilly Petticoats, Frocks, Tchotchkes, Fine China for “Company”
- Paris 1900 and the Atmosphere of the Belle Epoque Recreated, A Vibrant and Swiftly Changing City
- Prepare for Fashion and Faith At The Legion of Honor; "A painting by Mr. Tissot will be enough for the archeologists of the future to reconstruct our era"
- Two Exhibits: Veiled Meanings, Fashioning Jewish Dress and Contemporary Muslim Fashions
- Take Note, All Women of the Elastic Generation, Here and Abroad: Lifestyles and Attitudes of British Women Aged Between 53 and 72 About Fashion and Tech
- My 1950s: A Nordic Museum Exhibition of Social Ideals As Well As Nylon stockings, Corsets, Accentuated Waists and Flared Skirts
- 100 Pairs of Shoes: Walk This Way Exhibition Includes Stories of Conformity, Independence, Culture, Class, Politics and Performance