Why Not Take the Slow Lane?
by Diane Girard
Some time ago, my daughter gave me a coaster for my computer desk. It says, "Start Off Slow — and then Taper Off." The first part of that saying has become my motto and I am proud to say that there are advantages to moving through life in the slow lane. However, the slow lane is not the full-stop lane. Many things happen slowly and sometimes they occur with an almost balletic grace that pleases me.
In the morning, I have time to read the local paper and drink two cups of coffee while I complete the daily crossword puzzle. The news in the paper is mostly old news of course, but I like to read the editorials and the letters to the editor. Occasionally, I am provoked enough to write a letter in response to an editorial. If my letter is accepted for publication, and usually it is, it never appears the next day. Sometimes a week passes before I see it on the editorial page. By that time, my anger can seem a wee bit over-the-top and I wonder why I didn’t take more time to respond. The paper’s crossword isn’t too difficult(unlike The New York Times’ crossword puzzle, which intimidates me) and I won’t claim that it preserves my brain power, or helps prevent dementia — it’s simply fun. And, it’s the kind of activity I seldom indulged in during my full-time work years.
By the time I have read the paper and finished the crossword, my pokey personal computer has loaded its programs and might let me access the Internet, if the telephone lines are not overly busy. My Internet service provider’s speed is slow because I refuse to pay a premium for faster service. So, I can’t watch videos while I’m online. That too may be a good thing. Who knows what awfulness I have been saved from? I don’t — and I prefer it that way.
Walking slowly, or ‘dawdling’ as my grandmother would have called it, is also a sensual pleasure in my neighbourhood where I can enjoy the results of other people’s work on their flower gardens. I can walk briskly, but I prefer to do that on a treadmill while listening to, and sometimes singing with, doo-wop music. I can also run a short distance, but only if there is a fire or some other immediate danger.
I have no future as a critic of pop culture because by the time I realize there is a new pop culture phenomenon, its peak has passed. I seldom see ‘hot’ new movies while they are still hot. Instead, I watch them with my friend, The Viking, when they are available through his pay-per-view cable television service. It’s much more fun to be behind the times. I already know what other people think of the movie and can then quibble with their hastily formed opinions.
I apply this idea to ‘hot’ books too. Usually, I read any best-seller that I am still interested in about a year after it has slipped from the list and is available through my local library without placing a hold and waiting for 500 other people to read it. Then, I can pontificate about why the book’s critics were too quick to praise it, or damn it. And, by that time, many people have forgotten why they liked or disliked the book and can’t disagree with me. And anyway some of them haven’t read the book. They cheat and read only the reviews. This becomes evident when I ask them about the book — Oh, the shame!
Life in the slow lane also saves me a lot of money, some of the time. If I see something that entices me, I usually decide to wait it out. The dress that tempts me now might not appeal to me in three weeks, or someone else might buy the only one that is available in my size. Or, if no one else wants it — it might be marked down. Miracles happen every day, they say. I’m seldom the beneficiary of a clothing discount miracle, but I remain optimistic whilst keeping my money in my wallet.
I never rush to buy new technology — I can’t afford to — but even if I could afford the latest gadget, I’d be slow to buy it. Remember the Sony Walkman? I still have one and it still works. I thought about getting an iPod, but after hearing that they are easy to lose, I refrained. I have enough trouble keeping track of my keys and my glasses. They tend to migrate without giving notice. I believe the join forces and hide with the missing socks.
I also thought about the Kindle and the iPad, but I didn’t think about them for very long. I’m sure something better, that incorporates a bazillion features and will function like a personal computer, a telephone, a television, an e-book, and possibly a food-o-matic will soon be touted. And when it arrives, I’ll think about it, slowly.
It’s not always smooth sailing in the slow lane and I do speed up when life requires it; for example, when I have a freelance assignment with a deadline. But truly, I don’t understand the need to be always busy. One of my neighbours, who has been retired from the regular workforce for years, says he never has a moment to spare because he sits on many committees, does a lot of important things and is very ‘productive’. I congratulate him, but I notice he never asks me what I do. Maybe that’s best, because my answer might confuse him. I’d say something like this — I ease into my day slowly. I read the paper, I check my email. I gaze out the window for a while and think. Then, I might write for a while, make some revisions to a short story, or start a new one, or get back to work on my novel, or I might think some more. I make lunch and then, if I am tired, I nap for a wee while.Later, I do the necessary ordinary things that help to keep my slow boat afloat.
Why not take the slow lane? I propose a trial visit of perhaps a week or so. You might be surprised to discover you like it as much as I do.
©2010 Diane Girard for SeniorWomen.com
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