Expedition: The Coveted Bargain
Tucked in the center of the Sunday newspaper is a fistful of sales inserts; bright colors printed on slick paper luring potential customers with baited hooks. The process of sorting through the pages reminds me of searching for the prize in a box of Cracker Jack. The treasure inevitably rests at the other end of the package with all the candy-coated peanuts.
I’ve developed a method to streamline my quest for that coveted bargain. First the actual newspaper is separated, then pared down to favorite sections and stacked near my husband’s chair. Next, my fingers deftly deal out the inserts in a fan pattern across the kitchen counter: food coupons, craft store bargains, three or four favorite department stores, and a large mound of rejects. This ritual is followed by coupon clipping and filing.
Once every two or three months I plan a major expedition for basic household supplies. My favorite hunting grounds are stores with a reputation for low-prices, generic brands, hordes of shoppers and narrow, cramped aisles. The bargains and coupons make the trip worthwhile, but the other ‘features’ are what tend to keep me away as long as possible. My battle cry is, “Buy in bulk and quantity!” I begin making my list as much as a month in advance by checking our supply of everything from toothpaste and vitamins, to cleaning supplies and paper products. The money I save on a package of 36 double-size rolls of bathroom tissue alone more than pays for the gasoline to drive out of my way to make these purchases.
Although my strategy habitually includes collecting coupons, most of them expire without ever being used because the generic brands are already far less expensive. When I manage to time my shopping to coincide with when the most expensive items on my list happen go on sale and I have discount coupon, too, I feel like I’ve scored the winning home run. I buy two or more of each item on my list, building a home inventory and postponing the next trip as far into the future as I can manage. Personal ‘research’ supports the notion that there isn’t a good time or day of the week to accomplish this chore; it’s always crowded. I’ve tried avoiding weekends, paydays, full moons, and lunch hours without success.
Comfortable walking shoes are a must. I opt to park away from the congested area near the front of the store. I lock the car door, take a moment to get my bearings and memorize landmarks in a parking lot designed to accommodate hundreds of cars. Why is it so many people with the same color car as mine always choose to shop on the same day? I make a mental note that I’m in the row of cars aligned with the pharmacy sign on the front of the building and one of the corrals to return empty shopping carts is directly east. My internal Global Positioning System locks the information in my brain and with a determined deep breath, I sling my purse strap over my shoulder and soldier forward on my mission.
Shoving my cart ahead of me with shopping list in hand, I imagine I’m a child on a scavenger hunt. How quickly can I mark off all the items and get them into the trunk of my car? “Penalty points for impulse shopping,” I caution myself when my attention drifts to a bright yellow clearance sign.
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