Diane Girard Writes: To Sleep, Perchance to Dream

It’s winter here in the southwestern part of Ontario, Canada. However; the word south is misleading. It does get cold and we do get snow but not in June — though that can happen in the prairie Provinces. The evenings are long and dark, and I want to hibernate like the bears and the other smart wild creatures do. I want to sleep in more often and enjoy the ‘sleep that knits up the raveled sleave of care’.*1 If only that was easy.

There’s lots of advice on how to get a better night’s sleep. I know what works for me, but not always. Once upon a time (actually when I was in my fifties), I would have a milky cup of coffee and an aspirin before bed and then I’d sleep until the alarm woke me. Now, I ban caffeine after 4 p.m. A little wine for thy stomach’s sake perhaps? Well, no, or I’ll regret it. How boring! Never mind. There are chores to do before I’m ready to snooze the night away. And, the preparations do help, at least some of the time.

Photo, right: Saint Laurent Rive Gauche + Halston pajama sets; Photograph by Eileen Costa © The Museum at FIT

I try, emphasis on try, not to snack after my six-p.m. supper. Yes, I admit it, I dine at an unfashionably early hour and I will continue to do so.

I let my bedclothes air out during the day and make the bed after dinner. That’s when I fluff up the pillows and open the window a smidgeon, if it isn’t frozen shut. If I’m feeling brave, I turn the heat down to 72- or 71-degrees Fahrenheit at about 7 p.m. My windows face north so the real temperature is always at least 2 degrees lower than the inner-wall thermostat says.

Coffee is a morning essential, so I set up the coffee maker at night. It’s safer to do it then because I might not be able to complete all the required steps in the morning. A pot with only hot water in it does not have the same effect as a pot of coffee.

Like many folks, I spend a lot of time in the internet universe but I don’t allow it in my bedroom. I do have a clock radio there. The radio doesn’t work properly but the clock shows the time in large red numbers which look huge when it is three a.m. Perhaps I’ll turn the clock to the wall.

I wear plain Jane pajamas (no animals on them ... see my previous essay: Note 2). The temperature of my feet varies from frozen to merely colder than the rest of me and I have no partner to warm them, so I wear socks to bed. It may be only a matter of time until I’m wearing gloves while reading in bed.

About 20 minutes before I climb into bed, I put my heating pad on the spot where my feet will be and turn it on. That way, I have at least a 50-50 chance that my feet will get as warm as the rest of me.

Once I’m settled and my reading light is on, I open whichever book I’ve chosen and enter the world within it. When my eyes can’t stay open, I close the book, turn out the light and hug my extra pillow. Then, if I’m fortunate, I have a deep sleep. I wish you sweet dreams.

Editor's Note: Waves, my short story collection, is available from Words Worth Books in Waterloo and from Volumes Printing company.

1. Royal Shakespeare Company; *https://www.rsc.org.uk/macbeth/about-the-play/famous-quotes:

Methought I heard a voice cry, ‘Sleep no more!
Macbeth does murder sleep: the innocent sleep,
Sleep that knits up the ravelled sleeve of care,
The death of each day's life, sore labor's bath,
Balm of hurt minds, great nature's second course,
Chief nourisher in life's feast.
(Macbeth, Act 2 Scene 2)

2. A Diane Girard Reprise: Keep Those Paws Off My Pajamas; Editor's Note: We decided to fancy up the author's description of her pajamas with an illustration of luxury pajamas.

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Diane Girard Writes: To Sleep, Perchance to Dream

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