What if the Mayan Calendar is Right?
It’s become an annual tradition for my husband and me to create a calendar for an intimate group of friends who share a common interest; the husbands all build detailed model railroads and the wives are ‘patient and understanding’. Candid photographs are taken throughout the preceding year and Mike writes captions for each one, ranging from hysterically funny to rather insultingly bizarre ‘insider jokes’ (a peculiarity that only close male friends can ever hope to completely appreciate). My job is to arrange the pictures into groups of 3-5 per month and insert a small calendar on the page; it is, after all, intended to be somewhat functional.
Our group meets for a holiday dinner each December. Originally this was at a restaurant, but the past couple years we’ve opted for a potluck. This has worked out especially nice, since once the calendars are distributed any social decorum flies out the window. Rowdy side-splitting laughter can spoil the ambience of restaurant diners unfortunate enough to be seated at tables in close proximity to our gathering, although I suspect a few were curious, if not jealous, about our folly.
This year, in a last minute surge of creativity, we decided to add an extra page. Inserted after the month of November 2012 is an illustration of the Mayan calendar with a three-week ‘bucket list’ of things to do before the world is predicted to end on December 21st. Suggestions included cashing out retirement pensions, purchasing his and hers matching red Ferraris, running naked through the streets, and dining at a fine Italian restaurant … in Roma, Italia of course. It’s not difficult to recognize that we were inspired by the principle of ‘eat, drink and be merry’ while developing our list. Then, just in case the Mayan’s are wrong and the world doesn’t end, with a flip of the page the calendar resumes life as usual with a standard Julian-style month of December.
All joking aside, pondering the Mayan doomsday contingency left me thinking about, “What if?” It’s rather like having your physician give you grim news after the results of some medical testing, “I’m sorry. There’s no cure. You have less than a year to live.” What do you do next? Buy that flashy sports car, or are you a ‘run naked in the streets’ type of individual? (Before you answer, let me point out that’s a rhetorical question. I really don’t want to know or be left with disturbing mental images!)
Just to clarify my position on the subject, I do not believe the advanced Mayan civilization actually intended to predict the end of the world. I suspect that although these people were obviously phenomenal mathematicians, especially when it came to chronology and astronomy, they were just as human as we are today.
Imagine some poor stonecutter toiling for an undetermined number of years, if not decades, on this project. He finally ran out of space on the rock (the actual reason why the Mayan calendar suddenly ends on winter solstice in 2012, in my humble opinion) and thought his assignment was finally complete. All set to punch his timecard and collect his paycheck from the payroll department, Pajarito Ixch’umil Tinaalto (intending no disrespect, we’ll call him ‘Pajar’ for short) is informed he must report to the foreman’s office. Pajar is hopeful that a bonus for meeting his deadline and staying under budget will be forthcoming, but Mr. Xamancab has different news.
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