Rose Madeline Mula Writes: Brad Pitt and Me
Don’t be misled by the title. Brad Pitt is not my new boy toy.
Our connection is that I recently learned that he and I have something in common. Unfortunately, it’s not fame, fortune, talent or good looks. It’s a malady called Prosopagnosia. No, wait! You don’t have to move six feet away. It’s not contagious. And it’s not terminal. Unless one can actually die of embarrassment.
Prosopagnosia is face blindness, an inability to recognize people you’ve met before — in some cases, very good friends and sometimes even family members, especially when you see these people unexpectedly or in out-of-context environments. It’s extremely embarrassing.
“I know what you mean,” you say. “I don’t remember names.” Please! There is no comparison.
Say you’re shopping at Market Basket or Dunkin’ Donuts and in walk your Aunt Matilda and your friend Betsy who beat you at Scrabble last night. You immediately say “Hi!” — even if for some reason, their names escape you at the moment — and start chatting.
What might I do in a similar situation? Ignore them completely and just walk by, leaving Betsy to think I’m a very poor sport and upset by my Scrabble loss, while Aunt Matilda makes a mental note to reconsider her will.
No, that’s not an exaggeration, though I realize it’s hard to believe. And, no, it’s not related to aging. I’ve had this affliction since childhood, and I learned only recently that it is an actual condition, shared by relatively few, that has a scientific name.
It does help a bit to know I am not alone. I read that Brad often foregoes invitations to large parties where he knows he would inadvertently snub and risk offending many good friends.
I feel his pain. I wrote him (a letter which I’m sure he will never see) that in the highly unlikely event our paths should ever cross, I know he will understand if I don’t recognize him.
Meanwhile I continue to cope by relying on secondary characteristics — voices, mannerisms, hair styles… Also, I identify many of my neighbors in my condo building by their dogs when I see them together. Yes, I do recognize furry, four-legged creatures; and, thankfully, I am able to associate each one with its proper owner. But if you don’t have a dog — or purple
dreadlocks — please don’t be upset if I don’t recognize you the next time we meet.
I am hoping that Brad Pitt’s admission to being a victim of this curse will help publicize it so people will better understand.
Maybe you could spread the word, too. Most likely no one will believe you, but it’s worth a shot.
©2022 Rose Madeline Mula for SeniorWomen.com
