You have probably seen the ads I refer to – funerals can cost thousands and thousands and so you should take out this insurance policy. Guilt, guilt, guilt. Have another helping. You’re gone but you’re still guilty. Well phooey to that. You can choose what you want. In the funeral business, they call it “preplanning,” but it is simply planning, getting all the details settled in advance. It won’t cause you to die any sooner, or any later.
I suggest you make firm decisions on the basics first – burial or cremation, open casket or closed casket, visitation or no visitation, religious service or no service, reception or no reception? Then start comparison shopping. Why not? You can get a lot of information by telephone then choose which funeral home you want to deal with and make an appointment. In some funeral homes the staff is on salary, not on commission. That’s a good indicator of better prices.
The death business is big business and is getting bigger all the time as the North American population ages. There’s a lot of money to be made through dealing with the living relatives of the dead. Did I mention guilt? I wanted to spend as little as possible on the final trappings and so I have made no muss, no fuss prepaid arrangements: cremation, followed by internment of my ashes in the city cemetery. Why choose an expensive casket to burn or bury? I discovered the simple pine box with no metal fastenings is still an option. Although it costs more than it would if you had a carpenter in the family who could make one, it is much cheaper than mahogany, or oak, or any specialty wood.
I also discovered that having a body embalmed is not a legal requirement [under Ontario law] and is an extra cost. I chose not to incur the expense. The cemetery plot is tiny but big enough for my urn and a small flat plaque. If family members want to hold a celebration of my life they can do so anywhere at any time on their dime or mine, if there are any dimes left in my estate when the time comes.
Because I made these arrangements when I was in good health, and not expected to leave the planet any time soon, it was impossible for the funeral director/salesperson to try to increase their profits with emotional blackmail. “What will your family think, if you don’t have a … you fill in the blank …?” My answer: “It won’t matter to them.” I wanted the funeral director to say, “Well, it’s your funeral,” but I guess they never say that. It might bring on a case of the nervous giggles.
So, what does the wheelbarrow have to do with anything? The friend I’ve mentioned lives only a few steps away from a funeral parlor and has suggested it as a method of transporting him, should the need arise. Fortunately, I’m not licensed to drive any conveyance that could contain a person. We laugh about this frequently and soon he’s likely to suggest I take driving lessons, but I have other plans.
Now that my after-death expenses have been paid, I’m free to focus on choosing my next during-life adventure. I’m ready for one.
©2013 Diane Girard for SeniorWomen.com
*Diane's email is dgirard772 (a) sympatico.ca
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