It's Quarter To Three: Could it be that I am not alone in my wakeful state?
"It's quarter to three,
There's no one in the place
but just you and me,
So set 'em' up Joe
I got a little story I think
you oughta know…."
I can hear it — the melancholy refrain, the quiet lounge music, the click of a wine glass in the dim lighting of a bar. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad if I were in a romantic place with my thoughts to share with someone else. But I'm not. I am alone in my own bed; the room is silent and I am wide awake when I shouldn't be. I try to conjure up calming thoughts that will allow me to fall asleep once again. Yet what come to mind are imaginary scenes that tell the story of my nighttime restlessness.
I fret as to whether my plans for the next day will resolve themselves satisfactorily. These days it seems there is always a computer problem to solve in the morning. And then there are frightening reflections on a travel tour that is coming up. How much cash should I carry? Is my passport up to date? Where will I put it when I am in a foreign hotel? Will the weather be good for flying and the plane on time?
A friend makes an appearance as I drift between a drowsy state and full wakefulness. She is vacationing in Lithuania and has learned how to do Lithuanian dances. She gleefully wears a traditional costume while she dances on the beach near her condo.
The weather is perfect for a walk with my dog on the nature trail. Suddenly an unleashed dog rushes us and tries to bite my little terrier. We run away but there are barriers that prevent us from crossing the stream to hide behind some trees.
I have gone to a music conference and have forgotten to pack my instrument. Someone loans me one but I can't play it because it comes from a different instrumental family. My music blows away and I am left with an empty music stand.
Since I am already at home, I can't have "one for the road" but maybe a cup of tea will soothe me. I drink it slowly and try to compose my thoughts for the new day. I glance out of the window and see other windows that are illuminated. Could it be that I am not alone in my wakeful state? I am cheered by that concept. Insomnia must be universal. Maybe it serves some purpose.
Perhaps during these mournful nighttime moments I am working out solutions to problems that have eluded me during the day? Have I thought through all of the steps of taking a long-distance trip when I need foreign currency and have to safe guard important ID papers? I sense that my friend, though far away from her home, is happy enough to dance and display her native culture; the nature path is quite beautiful but I am warned to have a little extra caution about my surroundings; I can pack my instrument and wind clips, in the morning even though it is many days before I have to leave. And then I will have no more worries about remembering all that I need.
I lay down one more time, close my eyes and hope that I will not continue to toss and turn. I open my eyes one more time . . . and it’s daylight! I have slept and feel somewhat refreshed and confident that I have figured out some knotty problems . . . though my yawns during this new day will be a bothersome reminder of my troubled night.
©2015 Adrienne G. Cannon for SeniorWomen.com
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