Neither perceived mate wealth nor perceived mate stinginess accounted for a
significant amount of variance in regret involving casual sex among women. Mate
resources are likely less important in very short term mating situations in which continued investment is generally unlikely. In addition, whereas a mate’s physical attractiveness may be readily and immediately apparent in a casual sex scenario, a mate’s wealth or stinginess is generally not. Lastly, when it came to inaction, women reported little regret, very possibly resulting in a floor effect.
The only quality that predicted regret in women in the sexual context was honesty
in sexual action encounters, such that women who rated their mates as less honest reported relatively greater regret over having engaged in casual sex. We believe this may have resulted from dissatisfaction with the limited nature of the encounter coupled with the belief that her mate may have deceived her about the nature of the encounter.
Researchers have identified forms of deception that are used to achieve the goals of one sex at the expense of the other. One of the most robust forms of deception identified in this research is that of men deceiving women about the depth of their feelings or magnitude of commitment in order to gain sexual access.
Believing that one has fallen prey to such a deception may have been a contributing factor in women's regret in such situations. Although it is important not to read much out of marginal findings, we briefly note here that the tendency for men to regret sexual inaction less when the woman in question was perceived as kind may tie into this as well.
There are certainly many reasons a man may have little regret about passing up an opportunity for a one-night stand. One reason may be the belief that having a one-night stand may not be in the best interest of the woman involved. This concern may weigh more heavily when the woman in question is believed to be kind.
As expected, men and women differed in the type of regret (action vs. inaction) they experienced with respect to both casual sex and romantic relationships
Discussion: The purpose of the experiment was to lend support to the idea that regret in sexual and romantic domains is affected by mate characteristics in ways that coincide with mate preferences. Our results are as predicted. Men reported relatively greater regret in response to a scenario in which they imagined passing up the opportunity for a sexual or romantic relationship (compared to imagining having engaged in one), but only when the love/sex interest was described as attractive (and average in wealth potential). When the love/sex interest was described as average looking (and high in wealth potential), men no longer disproportionately reported regret in response to failing to pursue over partaking in the sexual/romantic relationship.
Overall, women reported greater regret in response to imagining engaging in a
sexual or romantic relationship than in response to imagining passing on the opportunity.
However, again, this tendency depended upon the particular characteristics possessed by the romantic/sex interest. The pattern held when the love/sex interest was described as average in wealth potential (and high in attractiveness). When the love/sex interest was described as high in resources (and average attractiveness), women no longer
disproportionately imagined regretting partaking in the sexual/romantic relationship. This is exactly the pattern one would expect if attractiveness was more highly valued by men and wealth potential more highly valued among women.
Curiously, the pattern above did not vary significantly by type of relationship. It
seems reasonable to expect that the relative importance of mate characteristics might differ somewhat depending on the nature of the relationship. That it did not in this experiment may in part be due to the relatively short term nature of the romantic relationship we presented in our study. Perhaps the two characteristics would differentially affect regret if we had included scenarios that involved a genuinely long term relationship such as marriage.
One limitation of our experiment involves the manner by which we manipulated
mate characteristic. In our experiment the two target characteristics (wealth and Sex differences in regret attractiveness) were pitted against one another. High in terms of one characteristic was paired with average of the other, and vise versa. One could argue the differences in the ratings found in the study was driven less by attraction towards the target characteristic and more by an aversion to the non-target characteristic. We think that unlikely and note that even if aversion played a role it did so in way consistent with mate preferences. However, future research should disentangle the two target characteristics in order to provide a clearer picture of the mechanisms underlying these findings.
Sex Differences in Relationship Regret: The Role of Perceived Mate Characteristics
Susan Coats, Department of Psychology, Southeastern Louisiana University, Hammond, United States.
Email: scoats@selu.edu (Corresponding author).
Jamie T. Harrington, Department of Psychology and Neuroscience, Baylor University, Waco, United States.
Monica Beaubouef, Department of Psychology, Southeastern Louisiana University, Hammond, United States.
Hannah Locke, Department of Psychology, Southeastern Louisiana University, Hammond, United States.
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