Last year I shared
with you our decision to leave California and move to Boston.
Now I would like to talk about our adjustment to that move.
Although we chose to
move, adjusting has been difficult. Leaving the work I loved and
my dear friends has left a great void in my life. I came with
a positive view of the move and have worked hard to remain positive
but it has not been easy.
We had purchased a
new house but we were not at the closing because we were still
in California preparing to move. When we arrived, we did a walk
through and made a punch list of needed repairs for the builder.
We assumed he would honor his commitment to take care of these
in a timely manner.
What a mistake that
was. It is not that there were a lot of repairs. On the contrary,
all the repairs could have been finished in several days. Instead
we spent a year listening to every excuse possible about why he
couldn't send workmen. Even worse, we often stayed at home just
in case he did send them since he never would schedule a definite
appointment to do the work.
The most serious problem
we had was that the toilets didn't work properly. Every time they
were used, it was necessary to use a plunger or 'plumber's helper.'
The builder insisted that he put the same toilets in all his buildings,
blamed the problem on low flush toilets and saying we'd just have
to live with the problem. Thus began our odyssey into investigating
toilets.
We found low flush
toilets that worked well but the builder felt it was not his responsibility
to replace the defective toilets. In the end we split the replacement
costs. The one advantage to this problem was that we learned that
it's possible to purchase HiLiner toilets which are three inches
higher than standard toilets. When we are older it is much easier
to use these HiLiners. This is just one example of how the completion
of the punch list went.
Last week was one year
since the closing on the house and the builder finally finished
the last repair.
We are in a condominium
complex of five houses. There are advantages and disadvantages
to this arrangement: the positive aspect is that we have pleasant
neighbors with whom we have something in common. It's nice not
to have to cut our own grass or shovel snow, especially this past
Winter when we had snow on the ground from the beginning of December
until April.
The negative aspect
is that, in such a small project, decisions that have to be made
take on a personal dimension. It's also difficult to schedule
a date when everyone can meet to make decisions about the development.
Due to its small size, the condo association cannot afford to
hire a manager; each homeowner is to manage the property for one
year. Unfortunately, because we are Unit A, we are the managers
this year. However, when this year is over our next assignment
as condo managers will not occur again for four years
I would like to share
our search for new friends. We moved to Boston with a plan as
how to do this. The first thing we did was join the Community
Center where we learned they had a travel club for seniors. Local
dinners and entertainment is sponsored including trips to the
theater and concerts, as well as two and three- day trips out
of town every month or so. The club organizes longer trips, such
as a trip to New York city to see a play and go to a museum. We
met new people and made good friends of some, as well as learning
through attendance at different functions where the theaters,
concerts and restaurants were located. This Travel Club welcomes
singles and couples equally as members. If your area community
center does not have such a club, consider starting one as this
turned out to be a great way to become adjusted to a new area
quickly.
This Spring we attended
an Elderhostel in the Pocono Mountains where we were fortunate
to meet others from our own area. We finished an enjoyable week
by adding new friends we can meet with in Boston. It is sometimes
easier to make friends with others fairly new to an area as they,
too, are looking to replace a network of friends. As we attend
functions of different groups, we always seem to find people looking
for others to socialize with. We intend to join the book club
at the neighborhood public library for this reason, as well as
others.
Even before we moved,
I made contact with the local chapter of OWL, The Voice of Midlife
and Older Women, where I had been so active in California. I was
immediately invited to be on the Coordinating Committee and subsequently
became the Newsletter Editor and the Public Policy liaison with
National OWL.
We learned that Showa
College was looking for volunteers to meet their Japanese students
with speaking English besides more about US culture. We volunteered
this last summer and will work with another two students this
fall.
Lastly, we very much
enjoy the company of our son, daughter-in-law and grandson who
seem pleased that we are here. One day a week we keep our grandson
after school and it was a great way to bond with him. We enjoy
socializing with our family and they have certainly included us
in their lives.
We have been fortunate
that some of our California friends, neighbors and colleagues
have visited this year. It certainly helps us adjust to the change.
E-mail has been a wonderful way to keep in contact with our friends
and colleagues back in California. In retrospect, we seem to have
adjusted about as well as possible and look forward to continuing
our life in Boston.
Betty
Soldz is an author, educator and consultant in the field of aging.
She facilitated workshops and discussion groups for the University
of California Berkeley Retirement Center. Betty is one of the co-authors
of Wise
Choices Beyond Midlife: Women Mapping the Journey Ahead.
She is Past-President of OWL/CA (Voices of Mid-life and Older Women)
and is Chairperson of 50+ and Strong: An Alliance for Women's Health. For
the past 11 years, Betty volunteered with the California Health
Insurance Counseling and Advocacy
Program (HICAP) of Legal Assistance for Seniors and is active in
the struggle to protect Medicare and Social Security. She
is now Newsletter Editor and a member of the Coordinating Committee
of Greater Boston OWL and volunteers with the Friendship Circle
Program of SHOWA College, helping visiting Japanese women students
experience "real" American life. . Betty can
be contacted at:Milbet@aol.com.
