The theme for Older
Americans Month is "America: A Community for All Ages." According
to US Assistant Secretary for Aging Josefina Carbonell , this
theme was selected in recognition of the national community in
which we live, and in tribute to the American family which is
the strength of our Nation. This theme reminds me of a phrase
coined by Senator Hillary Rodham Clinton when she was First Lady;
"It takes a village to raise a child."*
I would like to suggest
that it takes a village or a community to help all of us live
long and rewarding lives. When we were children, most of us relied
on our parents. Our grandparents and many times neighbors and
friends were there for us when we needed them. Grandparents were
role models for us and our parents and our community. When we
reached adulthood and married, we relied a great deal on our spouse,
family and friends as our village. Some of us joined organizations
that helped those in need and thus became part of their community.
After we retired, we
remained a part of the community in which we lived by volunteering
in innumerable ways to assist others. As grandparents we are now
the role-models for our grandchildren. Once our children have
grown and left home many of those who have spouses turn to them
for their companionship and well-being. However, since women outlive
men by approximately six years, they need to remain a part of
the larger community.
As we grow older, we
need the support of a community or village even more than we did
before. This assistance may come from community agencies, religious
organizations and, if we have them, our families and friends.
Actually we know that families, when we have them, become our
main caregivers when we are older. It is, however, the responsibility
of the village, not just families, to provide the services needed
by elders so that they can remain engaged in the community. It
is also the responsibility of all of us to help each other. If
we are family to others, they will be family to us when we are
in need.
As George Vaillant,
MD, states in his new book Aging Well, "It is not the bad things
that happen to us that doom us; It is the good people who happen
to us at any age that facilitate enjoyable old age."
If we have been part
of a village we will have friends in our older age. Research seems
to show that relationships with friends leads to increased social
support as well as life satisfaction. Although friends may not
be able to give us the physical support when we need it in later
life, they can act as companions and confidants which is important
for our mental health.
I know of some women
who have formed "friends in need," groups to offer help to each
other when needed. Some of the support they have offered is going
to the grocery or pharmacy for each other when one is ill, taking
each other to the doctor, or just visiting, talking and listening.
Although families will probably be our main caregivers, it is
important to have additional people who are part of our support
group.
For some, their adult
children will be their source of support and contact. Our children
may supply emotional support by listening to our problems and
giving us comfort. Some provide parents with financial support.
Some help with home repairs and some provide transportation. In
fact, 95% of elders living in the community and needing care receive
at least part of that care from family members. Others in our
family that are part of our "community" are our siblings, grandchildren
and maybe, due to the long lives we now live, even our parents.
All of these may offer us emotional or physical support.
Feeling part of a village
and actively contributing to it, and benefiting from its support
is a major factor in quality of life in later years. Therefore,
as we celebrate Older Americans month, honor our families as well
as all who make up our community.
Editor's Note: The
UN is holding a landmark
session of the General Assembly – bringing together some 60
heads of State and government and close to 6,000 participants
– including children. This is the first time in the history of
the UN’s main legislative and deliberative body that its session
is formally devoted to the situation of young people under the
age of 18.
