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Keeping It Light
by Julia
Sneden
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The
other day my daughter-in-law sent me a pass-along email containing
several clever statements about growing old. I have no idea who
originated them, but I enjoyed seeing them:
- "Growing old is mandatory;
growing up is optional."
- "Forget the health
food. I need all the preservatives I can get."
- "It's frustrating
when you know all the answers, but nobody bothers to ask you the
questions."
- "Time may be a great
healer, but it's a lousy beautician."
- "Wisdom comes with
age, but sometimes age comes alone."
Whoever wrote those epigrams
knew that a light, witty touch truly helps when you're dealing with
the indignities of aging. Whether your sense of humor leans to the
ironic or sarcastic or just plain silly, it is a potent weapon that
needs to be kept handy for all those times when wrinkles and creaks
and miseries begin to assume too much importance.
Today's teenagers often
refer to 'tude (attitude) as the ultimate in cool. There are,
of course, all kinds of 'tude including a bad attitude,
but most often the word is used to define a kind of defiance of
life's vagaries. I'd like to tell the kids that having 'tude is
nothing new, and if they'd really listen for it, they might just
be surprised by their own grandparents. Herewith, a few examples
of humor in the lives of some very laid-back elders:
Sometimes simple word
play can help make light of the discomforts of old age. One of
my friends deals with his arthritis by giving it a persona that
he can insult.
"I had a visit from
Sir Arthur yesterday, and the old fool doesn't want to leave,"
he says as he massages his shoulder gently. "Wasn't it Ben Franklin
who said: 'Fish and visitors stink in three days'? Sir Arthur
stinks on arrival!"
I had a 99 year old,
bedridden friend whose mind was the only fully functional part
of her body. When she received a birthday card from a well-meaning
friend wishing her 'many happy returns of the day,' she snapped:
"Well I hope not!" And then with a twinkle in her eye,
she added "99 returns are quite sufficient, don't you think?"
Another elderly friend who visited his even more elderly mother
in the Alzheimer's wing of a nursing home was pleased that she seemed
to recognize him during their afternoon visit. But as he was leaving,
she smiled graciously and said: "And how is your mother?" He was
taken aback for a moment, but quickly said: "As far as I know, you're
fine." There was a short pause, and suddenly his mother threw back
her head and laughed, and so did he.
A few years back, my
friend Amanda recounted a conversation with her father, who also
suffered from Alzheimer's disease. He kept insisting that she take
him to visit his mother on the next Sunday. "But Daddy," Amanda
finally said, "Grandma died in 1942." "She did?" he asked, more
puzzled than dismayed. "Yes, she did," said Amanda, "and we buried
her in the family plot. I suppose you and I could go out there on
Sunday to visit her grave, but I don't think you'd get much conversation
out of her." "By damn," he said and slapped his knee, "I guess I
wouldn't!" And they both collapsed in giggles.
There is, of course,
not much funny when it comes to Alzheimer's. But even those whose
minds are locked away in its death grip can sometimes be reached
with a simple joke. And for those angels who serve as caregivers,
the ability to shake their heads and smile at the disease's absurdities
can be a sanity-saver. Dylan Thomas wrote: "Do not go gentle into
that good night. Old age should burn and rage at close of day;
Rage, rage against the dying of the light." But until the raging
moment comes, I'll take touch of bravado and some hearty laughter,
thank you. It sits a lot easier on the heart.
Julia Sneden is a
writer, friend, teacher, wife, mother, Grandmother, caregiver
and Senior Women Web's Resident Observer. She lives in North
Carolina and can be reached by email.
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Copyright©2003
Julia Sneden for SeniorWomenWeb
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