Here is an unexpurgated quote from a Mr. C, age 62:  “I am searching for a petite, slim , average-figured but attractive lady YOUNGER THAN MYSELF  that is searching for a serious relationship, maybe even marriage,  and who would prefer an OLDER, WISER MAN.”  Well,  why not?  I’d like a younger mate, too,  if I could find him.  As for men who are over the hill,  they seem to prefer dates who live right around the block.  Maybe they no longer drive at night.

There was something else I’d noticed.   Almost every man’s profile indicated that he exercised at least three times weekly.  None of them was “fat” or “heavy,” merely “a few pounds extra.”  Every one thought of himself as romantic and caring.   And, without exception,  they all professed to having a  great sense of humor.  Good thing, too, since it’s  a necessity in on-line dating.   Without it, we  might forget when we see all the lonely souls out there that such cyber activity is supposed to be fun.  In fact, we might even start to feel really, really sad.

In time, I joined a different site I’d heard about, one  that was more selective,  if  a bit pricier.  It demanded the completion of  many questions and personal statements.   At least this site hasn’t  sent me anyone blatantly unsuitable.  On the other hand, it  hasn’t sent me hardly anyone at all.   Of those  it did,  I liked a couple, but they rejected me. Others liked me, but I rejected them.   One of  these  wished I were taller.  (Hey, so do I, buddy!)

I should point out, however, that none of us were really “rejected.”  We were merely “archived,”  an apt enough  euphemism for the  geriatric set.  Still, I have a few more months left on my contract, and no refunds are allowed, not even if a  subscriber is permanently “archived” six feet under.

Meanwhile, the other sites keep trying to get my business by promising me better rates and more possible matches.   The latest was a man 25 years my junior who lives five states away in Boulder, Colorado.  No doubt he  exercises at least three times a week.  Probably by shoveling snow.  Well, there are worse things in this world to shovel.

©Doris O'Brien for Seniorwomen.com

Illustration: True Life Romance image from Wikimedia Commons

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