by Doris O'Brien

It's an election year, and my popularity is at a all-time high! Not that I'm running for office myself, but if I were, it's nice to know that I recently acquired a lot of friends in high places whom I've never actually met. Nevertheless, many of them have really been putting themselves out lately to win my approval, and I must say I'm extremely flattered, even though there are times when I might characterize their efforts as "overkill." But look at it this way: my phone hasn't rung off the hook like this since the last election cycle.

Even at dinnertime, instead of eating like the rest of us, these good folks are busy phoning me to solicit my vote on behalf of some wannabe or other.  Sometimes, the candidates themselves actually call. It's true, you know. I recognize their voice from the incessant commercials on TV. Last week a sheriff from Arizona even rang me up long distance.

Occasionally, the caller simply wants me to participate in a survey. Imagine seeking my opinion along with my vote.  I'm always assured that the questionnaire will be brief, lasting only "a few minutes."  But it goes on and on with questions that I have to admit can be pretty confusing.  The survey person makes a statement and then asks me to choose a response that best reflects my opinion.  Here's a hypothetical example:

Candidate A believes in reducing taxes, drilling for oil, balancing the budget, getting tough with Iran, limiting legislative terms, and securing our borders.  Which of the following best describes your reaction to this  statement?

A.  Agree very strongly
B.  Agree  moderately
C.  Agree  somewhat
D.  Disagree mildly
E.  Disagree rather  intensely
F.  Disagree completely
G.  No opinion

When I'm not answering phone calls, I can go to my mailbox and enjoy the same level of popularity.  Since the advent of e-mail, my mailbox had been all but empty, except for some bills and store ads. (Once all I found there was a letter from the Neptune Society, soliciting my eventual business.)

But not anymore!  Now there so much election material stuffed into the small box from so many stalwart-sounding groups, it must have taken the wholesale destruction of several forests.  And the rave notices about the candidates are just extraordinary. One guy was even reported to have cut his own supervisorial salary. These wonderful people pledge to do just about anything to get my vote. They will clean up the environment; turn our schools into models of educational excellence; balance every budget without raising taxes; create local jobs; rub out gangs; reduce crime; and protect Medicare in sickness and in health.

The list goes on.  Okay, so they all sound suspiciously alike.  But some even claim to have "detailed plans" on how to accomplish what has eluded a string of their predecessors.

Being a fast reader, most of the time I am able to peruse the flurry of papers while waking between the mailbox and my house, where I immediately toss them into the recycling bin, so that they can return in a different form two years hence.

And to think that in this exciting election year, the political love fest  I'm enjoying has only just begun! I can look forward  to the printing presses rolling day and night for more than five more months.   After that, all bets — and likely all contacts — are off.

It might even turn out that the gaggle of gung-ho callers and mailers were nothing more than fair weather friends. And this could mean that I'll be left alone again — except, of course, for those persistent guys from the Neptune Society.

©2010 Doris O'Brien for SeniorWomen.com

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