Elaine Soloway's Rookie Widow Series: A New Lease, Abstinence and Driving Miss Elaine
A New Lease
I've raised the horizontal blinds that cover the floor-to-ceiling windows of my convertible studio apartment. The Chicago River is frozen over, cars on the expressway are slogging in both directions, and the sun is sneaking above the high-rise and loft buildings that complete my view to the north.
A new lease waiting to be approved is on my small Lime Ricky green table. As of April 15, I will have lived here for one year. I settle on a pillow that softens the seat of a wooden chair and start reviewing before I sign on the dotted line.
The view distracts me, so I drop my pen and allow myself to muse over the decision I made just two months after my husband died November 2, 2012. Elbowing past advice to make no major moves for at least a year, I put our house on the market. And five months later I landed here, in this new apartment and life. Now, as the lease renewal approaches, I decide it's time to review the pros and cons, and changes, which have occurred since that swift transition.
First the pros:
I love my living space. While the views are new, the furnishings are warmly familiar. A dozen paintings that burst our house's walls with color and interest are now hanging in my 612-foot-cocoon. My Kingsbury Plaza maintenance men leveled, nailed, and attached all; one of many tasks they have undertaken with sweet eagerness.
I am typing this essay on a gaunt MacBook Air, which I exchanged for a muscular desktop that would've overwhelmed my Sapphire blue worktable and pint-sized apartment. Instead of the home office I once had, I now work in a snug corner with a built-in bookshelf that holds the few volumes, photographs, mementoes, and supplies I brought with.
I am managing without owning a car. A major change between my former life and current — other than I'm absent my husband — is that I no longer own a car. Finances were the primary reason, but also, I can walk to grocery and department stores, am a few blocks from three Chicago Transit Authority lines, and can hail taxicabs or use an app for shared rides.
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