Culture Watch
In this issue:
Books
Rose Mula reviews A
Life In Letters; Ann Landers' Letters to Her Only Child by Margo
Howard. Landers not only earned a very lucrative living by writing
letters in her syndicated column, she also used letters to motivate
and control (or at least attempt to control) her daughter.
Susanna Moore's One
Last Look is not only a commentary on the first fading of
the British Empire but how the sensuality of a country can claim
those who find themselves even temporary inhabitants.
Books
A Life in Letters
Ann Landers' Letters to Her Only Child
by Margo Howard
Warner Books, 417 pp
The author's byline of A Life in Letters is misleading,
since most of the copy was written by Eppie Lederer, known to the
world as Ann Landers, in the form of letters to her daughter, Margo
Howard. As Howard herself acknowledges on the jacket copy, "My mother
wrote this book. It took her forty-four years."
Howard's participation comprises a general introduction, plus comments
preceding most of the letters in the book explaining some of the
situations that prompted the correspondence, identifying many of
the people mentioned, and translating her mother's Yiddish references.
Howard's greatest contribution was saving this staggering collection
of letters in the first place-from the time she was fifteen years
old, until her mother's death forty-four years later. The sheer
volume of correspondence is overwhelming. Mother and daughter would
sometimes write to each other two or three times a day, even when
they lived within a few miles of each other and phoned each other
constantly. Strangely, in many of her letters, Landers apologizes
for not writing more often. The fact that Howard saved all the letters,
through four marriages and several cross-country moves, is mind-boggling.
Could she have had a future book in mind? Doubtful, since her mother
wasn't yet famous when Howard started saving the letters. There
are some gaps of a few months from time to time; but it's not clear
if there were no letters during these periods (hard to believe)
or simply that Howard chose not to include them for some reason.
Ann Landers not only earned a very lucrative living by writing
letters in her syndicated column, she also used letters to motivate
and control (or at least attempt to control) her daughter. Though
she often asserted that she would never offer unsolicited advice,
such proclamations were inevitably followed by large doses of admonitions.
Her letter of September 29, 1961, to her daughter (who was a Brandeis
student at the time) was typical:
"Don't make the mistake of spending every waking hour with the
Boston guy…I hope you'll keep the neurosurgeon on ice…And of course
you know the importance of making this a banner year in school…You
have the ability and you must produce something on your own…Don't
fail yourself."
When she wasn't lecturing her daughter ("Just get to work and hack
that math course…don't tell me the math teacher told you it was
too tough for you…"), she was praising her extravagantly, repeatedly
tell her that she was "gorgeous," "bright," and "a wonderful writer."
Though Landers was a strong advocate of fidelity and life-long
union, she took her own divorce in stride when her husband left
her for another woman after 36 years of marriage. She spoke of him
generously when she announced her divorce to her readers: "Jules
is an extraordinary man…I will always cherish our many wonderful
years together…" And, somewhat wistfully, she added, "How did this
happen?…the lady with all the answers does not know the answer to
this one."
Landers was supportive of her daughter throughout Howard's four
marriages, always embracing and praising the husband of the moment
and never blaming Howard for any of the break-ups (at least not
in any of the letters Howard chose to include in the book).
Landers enjoyed a loving relationship with her grandchildren (whom
she also advised, of course); and like all grandmothers, she bemoaned
the loss of closeness as the children grew older, complaining that
the only connection they seemed to have when they became teenagers
was through gifts she sent them; but, philosophically, she decided
that a gift relationship was better than nothing.
She did not hesitate to advise President Ronald Reagan that the
concept of the MX missile "is loony, self-defeating and is lousing
up your chance to balance the budget in 1984…" In addition to President
and Mrs. Reagan, Landers enjoyed a personal relationship with a
myriad of Hollywood stars, as well as with Chicago's Cardinal Joseph
Bernardin and Father Theodore Hesburgh, a long-time president of
Notre Dame. Many names are dropped throughout the book; and one
must wonder if Landers would have preferred Howard to be more circumspect
in repeating comments such as David Brinkley's remark to Landers
about Walter Mondale: "…this jerk is going to get creamed. He is
a horse's ass." Such unflattering references to many public figures
are sprinkled liberally through Landers' letters. Unfortunately
for the curious readers, other identifications are missing, including
the real name of Mr. X, a married man with whom Landers carried
on an 18-month affair, behavior of which she disapproved on the
part of her readers.
Though Ann Landers was one of the country's most widely read columnists,
she wasn't a "writer." People read her for the advice she dished
out, not for her literary style. Her letters to her daughter were
no exception-high grades for the advice she dispensed, low marks
for imagination and originality. She had an affinity for corny phrases.
For example, she closed one letter with "Write when you can, and
if you can't can, buy frozen foods."
Throughout the years, it was obvious that Landers was her daughter's
strongest cheerleader, her harshest critic and, above all, a very
loving mother, though they did have periodic squabbles. After one
such set-to, Landers wrote Howard that "I don't believe I deserved
to get landed on that way…I am not a meddlesome, interfering mother.
I think I have stayed out of your business pretty good…I was stunned
when you fell on me-outraged and insulted…" But they always mended
their fences and remained unusually close. Unfortunately, Landers'
relationship with her twin sister, Pauline ("Popo"), writer of the
"Dear Abby" column, was less successful. Many of the details of
their strife are also chronicled in the book.
A Life in Letters is not great literature, and much of it
can even be characterized as boring. However, as a chronicle of
a mother-daughter relationship and a commentary on a by-gone era,
it's well worth a read.
Susanna Moore's One Last Look>>
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