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Page Two of Caregiving

If the person you are caring for owns a home, think about investigating a Home Equity Conversion or a Reverse Mortgage.  Life insurance policies are now being sold with long term care benefits which will help in the purchase of formal services. Some companies are making Viatical (financial) settlements on life insurance policies.

The first step in managing caregiving is to determine what type of help will be needed and then make a plan. Some, who can afford the expense, especially if they live far from their care recipient, choose to hire a care manager who can help with the caregiving plan and even employ the needed services. The cost of a care manager can be anywhere from $75 to $150 per hour. 

Others will make their own plan.  In that case, the next step is to assess what help may be needed.  The following is a list of assistance needs that should be prioritized: dressing, bathing, walking, toileting, eating, paying bills, household help and transportation. Care needs will change as the situation changes and the plan will then need adjustments.  In the beginning, care recipients may need very little help but later they may need further assistance in making and executing additional decisions.

Next, anticipate what you will be able to do and, in doing so, be realistic. Know what you can handle and do not take on more than you can do.  If you're employed and raising a family, plan for as much help as possible. It's important to recognize responsibility but also your limitations.  Ascertain what help others can offer. To do this, have a family conference.  Find out what help each member can realistically provide.  Although the majority of sons are not involved in hands-on-care, many are willing to help financially, perhaps assist with paperwork, home repairs or provide a respite from your duties. 

Neighbors, friends and members of a religious organization can sometimes be called upon.  Friends can call and check on the one who needs care and perhaps provide transportation to the doctor,  pay a visit to give you some respite or assist with small home repairs. 'Meals on Wheels' delivers cooked food to a home free of charge or for a small contribution;  get in touch with your local senior center to investigate this option.  Neighbors may be willing to bring in the mail and pick up groceries when they are going to the store.  At this point, it is important that the home be made safe for a disabled person.  Some suggestions are to pick up all throw rugs, put grab bars by the tub and toilet and install improved lighting at stairways and entrances.    

If the one who needs care moves to an assisted living or continuing care facility your burden will be much lighter. (I'll address this in a later article on alternative senior housing.)  Many women are deciding that this type of  housing is a viable alternative when they cannot give hands-on-care. Most state Departments On Aging have lists of such facilities.

In preparing for your own future needs, as well as those of the person you're caring for, be sure to organize pertinent personal and emergency information such as doctors' and lawyer's phone numbers, a list of medications, a living will and durable power of attorney for health care as well as a list of resources.  An understanding of the finances of the prospective person needing care is  necessary to aid in the decision-making process. 

It's crucial to plan for your own respite and care. The first responsibility of a caregiver is to herself. Plan ahead so you will be prepared if the time comes for you to be a caregiver of another.  Sometimes caregiving comes on slowly but sometimes it is an emergency.  Investigating your options now will empower you and help you to empower a prospective care recipient so that you can both handle the situation.

November is National Family Caregivers month.  I would like to offer this article as a salute to all who have been through this experience, both as the caregiver and the recipient, and as encouragement to those who will be caregivers in the future. Please feel free to contact me at Milbet@aol.com if you have any questions concerning this article.

Additional Information: Wise Choices Beyond Midlife, Women Mapping the Journey Ahead, Chapters Six and Seven,  Eldercare Locator Services: 800/677-1116 to locate services in your area, AARP: 800/424-3410 for more information, and pamphlets on caregiving, National Alliance for Caregiving, e-mail info@caregiving.org for publications, National Family Caregivers Association, phone 1-800-896-3650, a membership organization where members can receive services, support and publications.

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©Betty Soldz for SeniorWomen.com

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