When Dody and I moved
from Houston to Los Angeles more than 40 years ago one of the
first things we noticed was that folks
in show business were astrologically challenged. Everyone we
met in the Industry would ask right after we were introduced, “What’s
your sign?”
Being born in April,
I would say, “Aries,” though
I really don’t take much stock in
that folderol. Anyhow, they would almost always exclaim, “I
knew it!” So I quit saying, “Aries.” I said, “Armadillo.”
“Armadillo?
I never heard of that.”
“Oh,” I’d
explain, ”that’s
my Texas sign.”
In time, I developed an entire set of astrological signs, the
Lone Star Zodiac, much more fitting for my native state. My daughter-in-law,
Karen, a gifted painter-illustrator, painted drawings of all
12 Loner Star Zodiac signs to go with them. The Lone Star
Zodiac was eventually published in a booklet. (It is now resting comfortably
in the 1,805,800th spot on the Amazon sales list.)
Anyhow, here they are:
January— The
month of Spindletop
Road
Runner — You
are fast on your feet and never saw a path you could wait to
travel at high speed. To you it’s
the getting there that counts, not the destination. You do not
brake for fools.
February — The
month of the Houston Livestock Show and Rodeo
Javelina —You
are thick-skinned, tend to be shortsighted, and are not picky
about what you eat. You are at home in your
environment and fear nothing, even snakes. You do not often smile,
being a person of serious mien.
March — The
month of Sam Houston’s
birthday and Texas Independence Day
Longhorn — Your
sign is a fusion of two major influences, so you tend to extremes.
One moment you will face a mountain
lion, the next time you may bolt for no reason. You have strength
and endurance in abundance and are fond of football.
April — The
month of San Jacinto
Day
Armadillo — You
are gentle despite your apparent surface hardness, You are
shy and in the presence of danger tend to go
into your shell and wait for things to improve. You cross life’s
highways with eyes fixed firmly on your goal, looking neither
left nor right.
May — The
month of Cinco de Mayo and the Electra
Goat Cookoff
Boll Weevil — The
adjective that describes you best is pesky. Folks find it hard
to get through your protective shell.
You are sometimes boring but when you show up people pay attention.
June — The
month of Juneteenth
Puma — You
are graceful and keep yourself well-groomed. You are not likely
to cause anybody trouble as long as they don’t
mess with you. You like long, nighttime rambles.
July — The
month of Miss Ima Hogg’s
birthday
Mockingbird — You
are flighty, with music in your heart. You pay no attention
to the clock, being ready to party day or
night. You are only satisfied when at the highest pinnacle.
August —The
month of Lyndon Johnson’s
birthday
Horned Toad — You
have a rugged exterior but are basically soft underneath. You
are jumpy and have a quick tongue. Children
love you but you find it hard to warm up to them.
September— The
month of J.
Frank Dobie’s birthday
Sidewinder — You
are shy but not to be messed with. Angered, you strike out.
without a thought of the consequences. You find
it difficult to get straight to the point.
October — The
month of Lorenzo
de Zavala’s birthday
Racoon — You
are fastidious to a fault and always as neat as two pins. You
are a night person and do your best work after
the sun goes down. You are apt to mask your feelings.
November — The
month of the opening of deer season
Mudcat — You
like to get to the bottom of things and if you find a mess
there can be counted on to clean it up. Some
might call you slippery, but when handled right you are okay.
If rubbed the wrong way you are prickly.
December — The
month of the Anson
Cowboys’ Christmas
Ball
Bronco — Anyone
looking for a free ride at you expense does so at his own risk.
You won’t be manipulated or reined
in. With you, the buck starts here.
