Do
you keep a journal? Or write in a diary every day? Or, like my
grandfather used to, just write things like “Rain again. 22
degrees” on a calendar you got free from the bank? I’ve never
done it on a regular basis, because, I suppose, it requires self-discipline.
This is not my long suit.
The best reason for
keeping a journal isn’t discipline; it’s proof. Have you noticed
that no matter what the event, the words 'well documented' start
flying around. It happens at work, on 'reality' TV shows and infomercials,
and in the news.
Personally, I can’t
imagine writing down some of the stuff involved. I can see the
entry now:
“Had a headache today
and took an aspirin product at eight o’clock and Tylenol at
noon. Head still hurt really bad so went to bed until husband
woke me to ask where the remote was. Told him I didn’t know
and didn’t care. Took one aspirin and one Tylenol because both
bottles were empty. Went back to bed until kid asked what was
for supper. Told him to ask his father. Wondered if I had a
brain tumor. Got up at ten o’clock and cleaned up kitchen and
did two loads of laundry. Stood at refrigerator door and ate
a slice of cheese and the last piece of bologna. Made note to
buy bologna and whatever kind of pain reliever was on sale and
put note on fridge beside expired cereal coupon. Took two Advil
I found in the bottom of my purse sharing space with three paper
clips, a quarter, and six pennies. Headache mostly gone.”
It’s far better to
use journal entries to prove things that are of real importance.
Such as which day in December was the coldest. “See,” you can
say, “it’s written right here that it was seven below on this
date. I don’t care what the weather channel says. How would they
know? They weren’t out here freezing their…er…parts off trying
to get my car started so they wouldn’t be late to work three days
in a row.”
Or how old something
is. “Sure, the TV’s still under warranty, because here it says
you were mad when I jammed up the garbage disposal and that I
sent the check for the taxes and I remember that’s the day we
bought the new TV because you wanted to know what that big check
to the county was. You thought maybe I’d bought the courthouse
and I said no, because it was too hard to heat.”
You can write down
events that you would have remembered anyway, but reading the
words, “Jock and Laura married in the yard. It was beautiful,”
brings back my youngest son’s wedding in Technicolor memory. I
remember Laura’s dress in detail, the way the little girls in
attendance stripped the blooms from the snowball bush and showered
her with petals, the way my husband mowed the yard three times
in as many days so it would do justice to the bride. At the time
of the wedding, I didn’t keep a journal on even a semi-regular
basis, but I’m glad I recorded that day.
So if you have a son
getting married or a granddaughter getting christened or if you’re
just really ticked off at your significant other, maybe it’s time
for you to keep a journal. If you’d like to start one, let me
tell you how.
Make sure it’s bound
so that it will lie flat. This means a three-ring binder or a
coil-bound notebook with the Muppets on the cover will work just
fine or you can buy an actual journal with a flowered cover off
the clearance rack. Use a pen that writes nicely in whatever color
you choose, but don’t spend much money on it because you’ll lose
it three days into your journal-writing. Leave the journal somewhere
conspicuous that you’re going to be every day, like beside your
favorite chair or on the bedside table or the counter beside the
coffeepot. Mine lies on the kitchen table and is often buried,
but I can always find it when I need to prove something.
Sometimes in the stresses
and busyness of everyday living, we lose ourselves. We are what
other people need us to be or what we have convinced ourselves
we must be. In a journal, we need only be ourselves, and reading
old entries can remind us of who we are. And that we like who
we are. That’s the best reason of all.
Married for thirty-some years to Duane, her own personal hero, and mother of three and grandmother of six, Liz Flaherty has written a column from her Window Over the Sink off and on for over ten years. She hopes you enjoy her essays. You can email her at lflaherty@comteck.com
